why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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