if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
