It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
