he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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