Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
