Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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