Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
