bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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