Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize