I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
