Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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