even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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