I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
