If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
