Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
