Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh god the rape fog is back!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
