Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
