Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
