Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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