tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
