Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize