I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
