dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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