why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize