please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
