I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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