i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
