belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize