WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
