best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
