New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
