I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
