At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
