Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
