we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
