I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize