Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she peed on how many people?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
