That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
