So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
