I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
