he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
