don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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