Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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