Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
