Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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