roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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