singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
