This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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