she was so not down for the gang bang
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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