Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
