We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A+ Viking dick
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
