She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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