I am puke
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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