I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
nutella sex= disaster
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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