But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
so much tequila, so little girl.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
